Realizing a dream sure does not happen overnight. You sacrifice comfort, you work hard, you hold on to patience, you fight distractions. I did so too. I failed. It was disheartening. Chaotic as well. There was a bit of every emotion dancing around. Sadness because of the failure. Fear because failure was a stranger until then. Confusion because somewhere I knew it’s not the end.
These emotions led me to a different path. A few miles after, it did not feel right. And one fine day after coming across a quote -” The belief in a thing makes it happen” – my dream sprung back to life. My heartbeat increased manifold. I began nurturing my dream once again. Hard work, patience, focus and determination worked in perfect harmony. I was halfway there. Exhilarated. Nervous. The next step daunting. I failed again. In a jiffy.
I returned to the different path that I had taken. Reluctant. Every mile thereafter made the dream distant and diminished the flame of focus and determination.
I do not have a plausible reason for the dream fading away. Do I believe that it was destined to happen? No. It faded away because I let it fade away. Every other accomplishment thereafter lacked a background dream. And so I know the difference between feeling exhilarated and feeling happy.
I am glad I had a dream that perched atop the pillars. A cherished one indeed. I am glad I worked hard someday towards realizing the same. Equally disappointed I am for letting it fade away. The pillars still stand firm waiting for another dream to rest upon them. The intent remains the same – becoming the person my mom is. And I don mom’s belief and confidence this time around as I have outgrown her apron!
P.S. Mom, this was long due!