talk unperturbed to the emptiness
because it listens
and does not question my madnessI just want to lie down
gaze at the gray wall
because it stands still
and does not complain at all
I just want to lie down
close my eyes and breathe the air
because it makes me calm
and minds its own affair
There were roads all empty, you could walk blind
Mornings were foggy, dewy, the air quite clean
As far as my eyes could see, there were sights of green
Sundays meant watching a movie at home with mom and dad
Owning a fancy pen per se was the only fad
Pizza and coke definitely were a delicacy
Hopscotch- so fresh- was not yet a legacy
And now, there are buildings standing tall
There are roads with fancy cars, big and small
I hardly hear the morning birds chirp
Occasionally there’s morning breakfast to slurp
Sundays mean counting hours until the Monday dread
And the fad- running in life for that extra butter for the bread
Heating that cold pizza from last night is a regular affair
Oh yes! It tastes yum and takes me far from any despair
Back then I saw hills and rain gushing down its slope
Now I see snow covering the roads like a blanket of hope
Yes, times have changed and I have come a long way
But there is more that still has to see the light of day
The “then” life was good, simple and naive
The “now” life is enriched, wise and here to thrive
The “then” life was in a different geography and culture
The “now” life is about novelty whilst holding on to the “then” treasure
I wondered what’s it all about
What is it that’s causing this whole stir?
I asked my mind – “Do you have any clue?”
“Do you think it’s because of the flu?”
My mind replied -” Your thoughts are on a discourse in here.”
“Not able to decide how to make me cheer.”
Oh! That’s why all this fuss?
Am I not content enough?
Probably I need some chocolate milk
And then the cacophony, shall I be able to bilk
That’s how I bribe my mind
Oh Chocolate! You are utterly kind
For now you helped the din cease
And the thoughts are finally at peace
Leafless trees growing out of snow-wrapped soil
Bushes trying their luck to get a sneak peek of the sky above
The invisible wind blowing with all its might
The white drizzle and the cool air share a camaraderie
Meanwhile I try to find a grip in the slippery icy pavement
And breathe in the chilled air and rub my palms for warmth
My eyes soothe themselves with the white winter before it gets somberly
I glance as far as I can through my blinds
The cloudy dark sky is studded with some scattered stars
The streets are all lit up and add to the snowy reflection
And the white glittery snow and the mighty black sky somehow chime
The steels and concretes stand tall amidst this affair
Embracing the chill and flaunting a white snow coat atop,
they keep the common man warm beneath
and in their glory they play their part quite fair
The nature’s elements beautifully coordinate
Sometimes giving the clouds a chance to canopy
And sometimes letting the sun peek-a-boo
After a wet spell the nature lets the sun radiate
I sit by my window breathing the calm
Mesmerized by such a flawless and glorious affair
I see the snow, I see the light, I see the dark
I feel good affected by the nature’s and winter’s charm!
I once heard someone say in passing – “Do things while you can. Life keeps getting complicated with time.” Nothing negative I draw from this statement. Life keeps piling up things – good and bad. And any pile for that matter is complicated. There is a mix of orderliness and disorderliness in that pile. From the outset, it does look disorderly. But a part of it, if not all, is always sorted.
Now, being a kid is just a part of that pile. As a kid, my pile (read life) was more or less organized. There was a routine. Breakfast, school, play, assignment, dinner, bed. The only detours were Sundays, holidays and vacations. And those were pleasant detours. And none of the detours were unexpected either in a good or a bad way. So if I summarize, my childhood was mundane in a very pleasant way. No complaints to this day about that phase!
And now the pile is so rich! Cluttered rich! It has become a melange of expected and unexpected events. But alongside the clutter reside some very defining elements that allow the pile to stay in equilibrium. The balance does not always seem perfect. The clutter at times, to be honest most of the times, outweighs the order. And I find myself recklessly looking for that order. In the process of doing that, I just wreck the pile more. Strange, but true. And here’s where I think I got somewhere close to an answer. I would definitely prefer order to outweigh. But doing that will anyhow destroy the equilibrium. I want the kid in me to be alive and simultaneously let my pile grow. It will accumulate a mixture of wonders and disappointments. That in turn will help maintain that “perfect” balance I seek.
I have complaints now, lots of them! But they help me express and have a moment of pride as I write this. Because from my pile, I found a novice writer within me!
You are in a queue and an hour later you are still in the queue. There’s still time for your turn.
At the metro station, you lean over the platform and your eyes stretch as far as they can hoping the next train will take you where you want to go, but it’s not there yet.
Sometimes when I think I am there, I am not there yet. Sometimes when I think this is it, it isn’t yet. My mind wonders and wanders hoping to find an answer to “Why not yet?” But then, there is no answer yet.
Patience is definitely a virtue. But no book mentions how much of it is a virtue. I haven’t found this quantified yet! I feel it’s a very demanding virtue. Rather a greedy one. It asks me to stay calm and composed, keep waiting as long I can. But it never tells me if it’s already my turn.
There are infinitely many things I am waiting on. And the amount of patience that I have to hold on to definitely is random. Its distribution is a monotone non decreasing function with respect to time. There seems to be no damping. Forget damping, it does not even oscillate. It’s proud to behave as a cumulative distribution function.
I keep waiting and thinking, when is it my turn anyway? Food did arrive at my table. I got out of the queue finally. The train took me where I wanted to go. But patience grew more greedy. It asked me to wait a rather long wait. Again, it did not quantify how long. It loves the law of probability. But it never specifies a confidence interval. I guess it’s lost in its greed. Or may be I am lost because of its greed. When I come out of it, then will be my turn. That’s what I feel. However nonsensical I may sound!